Chosen Families Refuse To Quit

One of my friends and colleagues, Lauren Parker won the Summer of Love Essay contest for her essay entitled Chosen Families Refuse To Quit.  It’s an amazing piece that explores the bonds that we create and their impact on those bonded.  Check it out!  Click Here to View

Life lesson no. 1

Life doesn’t always give you what you want but often, if you can see it, life gives you what you need. Embrace it because you will be better because of it. Love life! There is no better gift! ❤ the perpetual optimist – scribblez84

waiting in vain?

It seems so small

but its not…

the way your eyes caress me sometimes

gentle smiling eyes

i pretend not to notice

i pretend not to love it as much as I do

It’s ’cause of you

that words remain barred from expression

caged in by my smile

calm…as the surface of the deep deep lake

where I placed your love

safe and secure though bound and gagged

much like a caged bird

unable to sing

until the moment you decide to release me

your touch–my key

unlock me with your tongue

the way you use to

seize me with your smile

hold me once more with the warmth of your breath on mine

remind me that I’m yours

because sometimes…I feel like forgetting

regretting the fact that I tried to put other hearts in your place

to fill this space that was created

when you decided

that you and me should not be

but you see me…I think

sometimes…I think you see me

when your eyes caress me sometimes

gentle smiling eyes

embrace me once again.

 

—Written by scribblez84

September 11, 2013

 

Moving on…

(note – i just want to admit that im drunk right now…but i hope that doesnt significantly diminish the point of what i want to say… this is not a love poem…this is simply a revelation in the form of a rant! enjoy! )

Ways to recover from heartache and make space for new love.

#1. Cry…lol sorry to say this but you gotta let it out!! Problems happen when you cannot accept an acknowledge the feelings of sorrow, pain, anger…whatever you are feeling must come out & be expressed or it can cause some serious physiological, spiritual and/or psychic damage.

2. Come back to your center. There are moments in our lives where we are truely content alone. These are moments when you are present and compassionate to yourself and feel a moment of peace…these moments must be remembered and revisited as often as possible. Whether it be the moment after a long run, or time spent in the shower quieting the noise of the mind and just feeling the water pelting your skin…whatever your center is..find it. Then you can begin repairing your broken heart.

3. talk it out!!! with a friend who is generous enough to suspend judgement and just listen…or with several friends that need to fill Their quota of vent time…let that shit out!! Talk about the issues you were aware of…the learning experience…your perception of things… and if you don’t have a willing friend…talk to a sibling, parent figure or even counselor (if that makes you feel more comfortable)…and if you don’t or cant talk to someone…write that shit out (via journal, or poetry blog) lol ;-D. Reflecting on the experience is a useful way to identify the challenges, positives that make any relationship a true learning experience…ideally you will want to figure out what things you must work on…and what things you are seeking in your next learning experience.

4. move the hell on!!! lol This statement can appear callous to some…but the reality of life is you cannot hold a flame for someone that doesn’t want it. You cannot build a life on maybe….you must trust that people are being honest about what they want…and don’t want, and you have to consider what is best for you. (Should i fight for a relationship when the guy says he is done?) no…absolutely not. (But I’m convinced it was true love, I can feel it) no… the thing is just because you can feel something doesn’t guarantee that he feels the same. Moving on is all about accepting the things you cannot change…changing the things you can…and having the wisdom to know the difference… getting over love is like AA you gotta quit that shit cold turkey, and resist the temptation to fall back into bad habits. A relationship is all about the relating…if you take that aspect out…well, then your not in a relationship any more.

5. Try to fall again. When i say this i mean just remain open. Remember that love…the joy part of it all is a wonderful precious experience that you will find again. ITs just about being open to the next possibility. (i don’t want to trigger all you hopeless romantics out there…but there have been moments when former love’s have returned) but it is rare…and usually the circumstances of the break up are extremely unique and out of thier hands. so dont cross your fingers. The great majority of relationships we experience are all just beautiful…and sometimes painful learning experiences made to make us better…to equip us with skills and understanding so we are truly able to be prepared for a long term love…and sometimes that long term love is just yourself.

no one can complete you…we have to be whole people in ourselves… content to be and love ourselves first and foremost. Then and only then we are truly able to love another selflessly and truly. Love is about giving…your time, attention, care and concern to others… and true love..i don’t believe that requires reciprocation…although sometimes that is exactly what we need.

besos everyone!

never give up hope 😀

…to love

 

Click Here to listen to the audio recording

—————-

today i sat solemnly on the couch
watching the day go by
witnessing the sky overcast in shades of grey
hoping this feeling would go away
with time
my mind drifting back and forth between
moments of joy and the other ones
like our last real kiss
shared by moonlight after a really busy day
him embraced by me and we
lost in the feeling of lips caressing lips
intoxicated by endorphins or passion or whatever you decide to call it
juxtaposed with our last goodbye
fighting a loosing battle against sorrow
i work up the courage to gently place a kiss upon your turned cheek
feeling meek and weak for a moment trying to catch your gaze
“i think you should go”
i say hoping you understood
that i am no longer able to hold back the tears
and i REFUSe to let you witness the sight
i need this…
beginning the laborious chore of getting over you
i sit contemplating the sky
allowing emotions to bathe me and breeze on by
all the while wondering
if it is ever really worth it…

written July 29, 2013
by scribblez84

Procrastination wins?

Possessing an infinite faculty,
yet still bound by the whims of Procrastination,
a beastly little man,
squat in stature,
yet overpowering presence descends
when leisure dominates the mind
and all other things important are laid to rest.
“i detest you fiend!!”
“leave my home at once!”
He sits there continuously
leering at me with a sneer,
lust in his eyes,
exotifying my brown skin
like they all do.
So….rather than be bound to battle
i decide to keep my pride intact
and remove myself from the equation.
Some battles can be won
by sheer determination and will,
others simply through surrender,”
he thinks to himself as he settles in a coffee shop to study.
– Written By Scribblez84
April 9, 2013

Loving u is easy…

This is the easy part

Being the subject of your attention

Whether or not you tend to mention

My name in the company of others

And its true

Even on a busy day

These thoughts often drift to you

Yeah…

loving you is easy

it takes no effort…no try

just the choice to relinquish control

and allow myself to feel

love is as easy as breathing

and just as necessary

its not the torturous emotion

that we often articulate it to be,

whether reciprocal or unrequite

it doesn’t demand admission or a fight

its bigger than expectations or labels

and often lingers through a lifetime,

you see…

the thing about you and me is

I see love filled within the space that we’ve created

I’ve attempted to claim it when I stated

That I’m in love with you

Believing that statement could properly convey

My intentions and desire to place my palms upon your face

To pull you into my embrace

And to kiss you once more

see, words fall short to the task

of truly expressing what lingers in ones heart

things said are always so incomplete

its almost impossible to meet

with accuracy

that’s the hard part I suppose

when the one u love cant possible know

how far you would go to make them happy

but in the end it doesn’t really matter

fretting on how things should be stated

creates this pain, its overrated

Because love doesn’t require acknowledgement

to be sustained

just acquiescence…

and that is the easy part.

Written by scribblez84

June 9, 2012

To every man i fell for

Letting Go: listening to late night love songs…

 

life brings moments as random

as the wind gust blowing

debris like u & me

to places never expected

erecting monumental moments in memory

where they last longer

than necessary…

images of akward moments & other ones

wrought with more passion

than i’ve ever experienced b4

Ill admit I adore

smiles & eyes

that linger, like your’s did

but…

they’re all things of the past

just moments

married to memory

carefully collected paintings to decorate

my most humble abode

…sigh…

Im getting old…relatively speaking

& I’ve come to the conclusion

my extensive reclusion must come to and end

along with the delusion that our lips

were made to touch again, my friend

i suppose this more mature way

of looking @ the world

should be celebrated,

im liberated…or vendicated

that I’ve separated my psychy

from the silly illusions of a fool in ❤

holding my heart in my hands

examining the tissue unscathed, unscarred

unbroken

I place it back where it belongs

as i listen to love songs

that raise my spirits back

to the place they use to be

b 4 u & me

decided it wasn’t meant to be

when optimism brought a beautiful possibility

the joy of what could be

realized the moment when your lips touched mine

passion ignited a flame

that burned brighter than the sun.

You may not be the one,

but..

You came damn well close…

😀 <smile>

Hope is still nestled in my arms…

so close to the place u use to be

she assures me I’ll find the man 4 me…

with time.

–written by scribblez84

March 12, 2012

satiated in sunny solitude

Head rested upon

the pillowy throws
basking in the sun set sitting in the sky
soaking up the rays that kiss my skin again
recognizing that heaven
does not always have to rest in your arms
there are so many ways to touch a piece of perfect
yes…
another lazy Sunday in the sun.

Journey pt. 1

There is so much distance between the images of what we hope for and what we get

Both pictures in mind we intertwine ourselves into a maze of paths that don’t always lead us in the direction that we think

Sometimes the ink on the map is faded

Unaided by the instructions of our predecessors we forge forward

Anticipating that the waiting and debating would lead us to the destiny of our desire

We conspire

And still sometimes these goals remain unattained

And we lie drained on the side of the path

Attempting to catch our breath

Exhausted from the task of seeking

Yet we keep thinking that if we just keep moving forward we will reach our goal…

Hope is an amazing creature.

She can lift the sun with the faith of many

And sap every ounce of vitality from the most beautiful of things…

I wonder what she will do with me